Sunrise [ axel / roxas ]

If he hadn't of been careful, he could have easily dozed off. His eyelids had drooped as well as the corners of his mouth to a steady frown; he could feel sleep creeping up on him, even though he had snoozed the day away this morning. Or evening? Seriously, how did Nexus work again? Roxas normally kept a good track of the days in the Organization just because of his missions, but without those and without something to keep him awake until bedtime, he found himself losing himself and his sense of time. 

He.. Couldn't help but feel as though it didn't matter much, anyway. 

If he were in his finest form, he could have sensed someone coming up behind him, probably getting ready to mug him or something of the sort. Whatever - he didn't have anything on him... They could do what they pleased and leave him be. Whether he would be beaten to a pulp or simply abandoned, it didn't matter. Without anyone to call his friend, without a reason to exist, none of it mattered. 

Somehow this picture looks incomplete. You need sea salt ice cream.

The world around him stopped, the air around him lay still. The noises of Nexus lessened to a state of death and the temperature around his body became warm as the sense of familiarity and flame washed over him. The blond's eyes slowly flickered open while his brain continued to block out any other senses. A slow and steady movement allowed his head to turn and his shoulders to shift in order to look behind him. 

"Y-..." His voice failed, the tiniest noise able to be heard from his throat from a tone sounding so null. It was unlike him - or at least.. It was unlike what Axel thought of him. Laying eyes on the Flurry, though, was much different. His azure gaze looked lively, his lips parting in a state of disbelief. Was it.. Possible? It had to have been; or was this nothing more than a sick dream that would make him despise himself even more after he awoke? Axel - Axel's here -

Roxas' hand suddenly began to reach out, trying to see if the figure before him was there to begin with. When he touched the physical form of the eighth, his expression shifted to a bewildered shock, but a state of emotion unbeknownst to him. It was happy - overwhelmingly happy... But also.. Sad. He couldn't bring himself to figure it all out for now. Roxas ungracefully scrambled to his feet on top of the bench, whirling his arms forward and yanking the other as close as humanly possible. 

Finally... He felt alive again.

He wanted to cry, but his eyes refused for now. Perhaps that was a good thing, after all. He did, however, begin to shake, hands turning to fists against Axel's upper back as though he were afraid that if he let go, this moment would be gone - he couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't. 

"Took you long enough," He whispered using the sense of humor that the other Nobody in his arms had taught him throughout their days together. Axel had, of course, affected Roxas in far more ways than just one. 

Even at times like this, the Flurry was keen at making jokes out of a bad situation. They had been uprooted from their homes and.. For all they knew, things were falling into disarray without a single thing they could do. Part of Roxas, however, selfishly didn't want to let himself care. He wanted to let himself be happy and to not think about Sora, or how he could have been hurting Riku, or if Kairi was still safe and sound on Destiny Islands. He and Axel were safe, and they were together; why couldn't that just be enough? 

Arms were quick to return the gesture that he had unwillingly bestowed upon the redhead. Of course, now that he was here and he was coherent as to what he'd done, he felt a sense of comfort that it was being reciprocated. Roxas' muscles found a way to relax and he rested the majority of his weight against the taller male's body. It was all he could do just to hold himself up - he'd been doing it all alone for far too long. 

Back in the Organization, there were times when he enjoyed being alone in his room, able to close his eyes and get some rest. Nowadays, however, things had drastically changed. The concept of being alone made his stomach churn in discomfort and his empty chest ache without much reasoning behind it. He hated it. He hated this lonesomeness that shook him to his core without regard for anything it tainted. It... was painful.

All of that, if only for a few moments, found a way to melt down to nothing as he rested there against the Nobody he had learned to call his best friend. The two of them were inseparable, and because of the blond boy's foolish actions, they had been separated. A wall had been built between them due to Axel withholding information, but that could have been worked out. He made a stupid decision, one that he paid for every single day of his life. 

"No." His voice cracked when he responded, his forehead resting against Axel's shoulder. The warmth was comforting and the scent of smokey cinnamon that was nothing but the Flurry of Dancing Flames brought him solace despite all of the things they'd been through. "But I'm definitely better than I was, now." It was the truth. He didn't have it in him to lie and say he was perfectly fine - he didn't have it in him to put on a fake smile. Roxas was broken, and he wasn't sure if that could be repaired. He wanted it to, and maybe with Axel's hands, he'd be able to put some pieces back into place. 

"I don't know how long this is going to last, so.. I'm sorry." He voice was mixed with an airy whisper, one that showed how much he really did mean it. His tone was beaten-down, teetering on the edge of lifeless, though not quite to that point. "I'm sorry for leaving you behind and not listening to you. I'm... Stupid." The grip he had around the other's body tightened. "I'm not mad anymore. I think I was more angry at myself than anyone else. Please know that I never hated you. 

He paused for a moment, a melancholy smile growing on his lips that wouldn't be seen. 

"You're my best friend - I could never hate you."

Hey don't worry about it, kid. We're fine.

A couple of pieces that had been scattered - a couple of fragments of himself that he was sure had been long gone by now returned with that simple statement. He knew that the hurt wouldn't just go away, but it would heal... If they worked at it. The thirteenth wasn't going to let this slip from the palms of his hands so easily. It wasn't every day that wretches such as him got so much as a first chance, let alone a second. 

He had been so lost in those words he'd almost forgotten that he'd been picked up. Axel was easily able to handle his entire weight without much effort, and it made a small chuckle flow from his throat. How long had it been since he'd been given a reason to laugh? It made his stomach warm and his chest fill with a small something. Then he realized his feet failed to touch the ground, a heat making itself present against the front of his body. 

Roxas' eyebrows arched almost pathetically - he was happy that Axel hadn't been able to see the change in his expression at that moment. Forgiven and hugged like this? What had he done to deserve this? 

He found his hands turning to fists in the cloak hanging off of the redhead's shoulders, his comfort bringing on a bout of guilt and the fact that he was so damned undeserving of his kindness. Axel had always been that way, hadn't he? Going out of his way to put on a smile on "his sunspot's" face, no matter the cost. He never had to come up to the clocktower, he could have gone straight to bed. He didn't have to teach him all those things when he was nothing more than a zombie, but he did. And here he was again, picking him up when he was helpless. 

Roxas really didn't deserve it. 

"I'd like that." He cooed out in a shaky, trembling voice, refusing to let go just yet. He felt like he could stay here forever and never have to take on another worry, another care. He was safe in these arms - he was home. "More than anything," A whisper was tacked on at the end of his statement, barely audible but surely there. The boy's face found a place  upon the hood attached to Axel's cloak at the shoulder; he buried into it, not feeling the need to lift up just yet. 

He didn't want it to be shown how vulnerable he truly was, but at the same time it was something that he wanted the Flurry to understand. 

That he didn't have it in him to be alone again. He didn't have it in him to be apart again. 

And that leaving was the worst decision he'd ever had the misfortune of making. 

 For what felt like the longest time, the boy's eyes slid to a close and he was able to breathe. When he was with Sora, he didn't breathe - he didn't live. Now that he was back in the physical world, now that he was in a place where he could be touched, held and protected by someone who meant the world and more, he didn't know how to take it. After what he'd done, why was he shown such kindness? 

After telling Axel that he couldn't be trusted, how could he be taken back oh-so-easily? He hadn't noticed that the redhead had started walking, carrying him to another location. He didn't care who saw and he certainly didn't care where they would end up. He couldn't let himself let go, not just yet. 

"Oh-" He said quickly when the Flurry started talking to him, his mind honing in on the word and making sense of them, as jumbled as his thoughts were. The boy did as he was told, oceanic eyes that matched spheres of sky scanned the flavors that were able to be purchased. "Salted Caramel," He murmured quietly into the other male's ear, almost like how a shy child would speak in order to communicate with others through their guardian. 

Roxas had been far too lethargic - all he could do, at this point, was let Axel carry him and keep him away from all of those bad thoughts. All of those broken memories and those fragmented pieces of reality he wished he would shun away into the realm of nonexistence. Eventually, he would have to atone for everything; apologies were only what they were. In the end, they couldn't fix the damaged and couldn't meld those pieces back together. There would have to be more. 

When the two had gotten their ice cream, he took it in his small hands while he was carried to an isolated bench. The amount of people around them was lesser here, especially since there seemed to be something happening within Nexus' marketplace. Perfect. He always felt more comfortable in tiny crowds rather than big ones, but he certainly hated be alone more than anything, he'd come to find. The thirteenth took a bite of his make-shift sea-salt ice cream. 

A sparkle glimmered in his eyes as the salt ignited against his tongue; he hummed quietly in delight and let his shoulders slump in a signal of relaxation. It wasn't exactly the same, but it would do... For now. With the plastic spoon still in his mouth, he smiled. 

He took a few more bites before he spoke. "I always really liked it when you called me that. Roxy," Roxas suddenly commented upon the previous nickname, turning his head to examine the other's familiar features. The way that Axel talked to him certainly made it far too easy to forget all of those bad thoughts. It was a small piece of heaven that the keyblade bearer would finally let himself partake in. "It was something that only you did." His soft, drained voice was laced with sweetness. Maybe it was from that ice cream. "Guess that made it pretty special, huh?" 

Something between best friends. After all this time, those little things hadn't been forgotten... And they still burned brightly. 

"I tried to come up with something else to call you, but I never could." Why was he finding so much comfort in such meaningless small talk? Maybe it was because there was something deeper hidden there, something that his absence of heart was trying to convey that he didn't have the ability to understand. "So you could have something special that only I did."

 "Guess you're right." You always are. 

Roxas let a deep breath fill the darkest pit of his lungs, expanding his chest and letting a certain form of life take hold once more. It had been quite a long time since he'd felt anything like this. Since he'd felt. He was supposedly different than the other Nobodies of the Organization because he was connected to Sora... Because he was more human than the rest of them. Recently, though, he had felt the exact opposite. He felt robotic and meaningless; it was exhausting. 

In the end, though, he could suppose he still felt sad. Sad and guilty - maybe all of that was a part of the concept of growth? These deep, intellectual thoughts were starting to make his head hurt... Maybe there was a reason he didn't stick to them very often. 

He much more preferred listening to the redhead next to him and eating his ice cream. The cold, sweetened and salted taste reminded him heavily of back home. The castle didn't sound exactly inviting, but the apartment he'd made his own in the simulated Twilight Town did sound rather.. Comforting. He let his mind stray away from it, though. If he pondered on it for too long then it would become painful, and Roxas wasn't about to let anything ruin this for him. "I've been here for a couple of months, I think. I dunno.. It all started to kinda run together" 

He paused, taking a couple more bites of his frozen treat to give himself time to put his thoughts together. "I take jobs fighting bad guys that no one else wants. It's all usually pretty routine." His melancholy voice once more faded, trailing off as his oceanic gaze glimmered with emotions far beyond any point of his own understanding. "What.. About you?" 

Roxas turned to examine the eighth, his sharp jawline and fire red hair as familiar as ever. The keyblader felt safe, after the longest time. A gentle smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, a warmth spreading from the core of his being to ever fiber of his body. The longer he stared, the more hope, life and the joy of existing filtered in through his eyes. Everything was finally mending itself back into place. 

Without even waiting for a response, Roxas threw out another question, a trait that he always possessed. Thankfully, the other Nobody always took it in stride. 

"Do you think we can stay together tonight? Do you have to go?"

 It was... Strange. Most of the time whenever Axel spoke to him, he would hone in on the words and try to make sense of them. This time, he was so far gone, so damaged and literally broken that he couldn't bring himself to. While the redhead was telling him side of the story regarding being brought into this new, foreign place, Roxas could only let himself listen to the way that the eighth spoke. The timbre of his voice was so familiar, so comforting and supportive. It allowed him to forget all of the horrid things that he'd been feeling and gave him a chance to let the emotions he'd pushed away attempt to reform. 

It was incredible, really. The effect that Axel had on him, even after just a few minutes of being reunited. Every time that the boy closed his eyes to blink, there was a fraction of a second where he worried to open them. What if all of this was a dream, one so beautiful that it made reality appear to be no more than a nightmare? 

A decent hotel... Oh! Right! They would be staying together. 

His stomach untwisted in relief at the thought of not having to go to sleep in a room all by himself again. He hated to sleep because of dreams - they would plague his slumber and make it impossible to actually rest. Tonight, however, he felt different. How pathetic... When he'd left the Organization, he had told himself he didn't need anyone other than himself. He'd find who he was, and he would live a life he could be proud of. In the end, he'd wound up being nothing more than a failure. A shattered fragment that had no other place but to go back into the bigger picture. He was displaced and never meant to be. Because of his existence, others suffered. 

Because of his happiness, others were in pain. 

Selfishly, he couldn't bring himself to care. Or maybe that was just what he told himself to make it easier. 

Roxas got to his feet, only waiting for Axel to do the same before he slowly began to walk. He passed a trashcan and disposed of the empty ice cream up, his stomach happy to have something in it after quite some time. He'd have to get some real food eventually... But for now, this would suffice just fine. The blond boy was careful not to let himself get far away from the Flurry, and he made it blatantly obvious. He couldn't care anymore about appearing helpless or pathetically co-dependent. The fact of the matter was he was all those things, and it was about damn time he accepted it. At least while he was down and out, he could let himself succumb to it. 

He smiled, looking up to the taller male who lead the way, just like he always did. When emerald eyes glanced down, they would see that usual star-struck look that constantly admired, wishing to be as independent and capable as Axel was. It was an admiration that was never really verbalized, but the two of them were always rather aware of it despite it all. Sometimes, when he looked at the redhead like this, he would be told to stop in a bashful voice, but that only pressed Roxas on even more. 

Subconsciously, the thirteenth linked their arms together to keep them both firmly in place. While looking up towards Axel, Roxas tripped his right foot, though clumsily regained himself. It took him a few moments of dumbly blinking his eyes to laugh softly at himself, tightening his grip on the Nobody just a bit more. 

He'd almost... Forgot what happiness felt like...